Client Questions and Answers

Anywhere. You do not need a tidy summary or a chronological account. Start with what is loudest right now and the shape of it will emerge as we talk. Part of the counsellor’s job is to help you organise the story, not to be handed it complete.

Then you cry, and we keep going. Crying is not a loss of control or a sign that things have gone wrong. There are tissues, a pause if you want one, and no expectation that you hold yourself together for anyone else’s comfort.

I will tell you what I think is happening and what the options look like, and I will be direct about patterns I can see. What you decide to do stays yours. Advice handed down rarely holds; a decision you reached yourself usually does.

Yes. Relationships are systems, and a considered change in one person reliably changes the dynamic. Plenty of relationship work is done with one partner in the room, and sometimes the other joins later once it feels less like an ambush.

We set goals in the first session and review them openly, roughly every fourth session. Progress usually shows up first outside the room: sleeping better, reacting differently, one hard conversation had rather than avoided.

Of course. There is no lock-in and no obligation to keep going. That said, a planned ending is worth far more than a quiet fade-out, so if you are thinking about stopping, say so and we will use a session to close it properly.

Tell me. Fit matters more than credentials, and no counsellor suits everyone. If we are not right, I will help you find someone who is — including a referral to a psychologist or psychiatrist where that is the better option.

No. I have heard a great deal and very little of it shocks me. Being judged is the fastest way to stop someone telling the truth, and the truth is what makes the work possible — so the room is deliberately built for honesty rather than approval.

Sometimes it was the wrong fit, sometimes the wrong approach, sometimes the wrong moment in your life. Tell me what happened last time and what you wanted that you did not get. That information is genuinely useful, and it shapes how we set this up.

Only where it is relevant to what you came in with. Some problems trace directly back and some do not. You will never be walked through your history because a model says so.

Then we sit with that, and it is usually informative rather than awkward. Part of my job is asking the questions that open the next thing up — you are not responsible for filling fifty minutes on your own.

Brief notes, kept confidentially and securely. Nobody else sees them unless you give written permission, a court issues a subpoena, or there is a serious and immediate risk to someone’s safety. You can ask to see your own records at any time.

It happens, particularly early on and particularly when something has been named for the first time. It usually settles within a day or two. Tell me if it does not — we adjust the pace rather than pushing through.

We stop, you get a moment, and we decide together whether to continue or land the session gently. Nobody is ever pushed to keep talking through distress to fill the time.

No. Most clients arrive with no diagnosis and no intention of getting one. Counselling works from what is happening in your life, not from a label — and as a counsellor I do not diagnose in any case.

Both, deliberately. You will not get an hour of silent nodding, and you will not be lectured either. Expect real questions, a clear view of what I think is going on, and room to disagree with it.

It matters to you, so we work with it. Counselling is confidential, nobody needs to be told, and how you handle the people around you — including whether to tell them at all — can be part of the work itself.