Containment first
Ground rules for the questioning, the phone checking and the 2am conversations, so the crisis stops escalating weekly.
Services · 15
Affair & Infidelity Recovery Counselling in Melbourne
Discovery changes everything at once. What happens to the relationship is not decided in the first fortnight.
Couples counselling after an affair, for partners who want to know whether this can be rebuilt before they decide anything. In person in Melbourne or online across Australia.
50-minute couples sessionsIndividual sessions alongsideNo sides takenOnline or in person
$253 per 50-minute couples session, GST included. Full fees are on the packages and pricing page. Sessions run online by secure video across Australia and New Zealand, by telephone, or in person in Melbourne by arrangement.
In short
Affair recovery counselling does two things at once: it contains the crisis after discovery, and it works out what the affair meant, which is what makes a real decision possible. Sessions are 50 minutes at $253, GST included. Some couples rebuild and some separate; the work is intended to make either outcome a considered one.
Infidelity counselling does two jobs at once. It contains the crisis — the checking, the questioning at 2am, the conversations that go nowhere at speed — and it works out what the affair meant, which is the only thing that makes a decision possible.
Nobody is asked to forgive on a schedule, and nobody is asked to decide before they are ready. Couples who separate after this work usually do it with less damage; couples who stay usually describe a relationship that is more honest than the one before.
This work helps when
- An affair has just been discovered or disclosed
- You cannot stop asking for details and cannot bear the answers
- One of you has ended it and the trust has not returned
- You are deciding whether to stay, and cannot think straight
- The affair ended years ago and nothing has settled
What we work on together
What it meant
The harder work: what was missing, what was avoided, and what each of you was protecting. Meaning, not excuses.
A real decision
Whether to rebuild or separate, made deliberately with the facts in front of you rather than by exhaustion.
How the work unfolds
Emotionally focused workGottman-informedIndividual sessions alongsideTrauma-aware
01
Stabilise
Stop the bleeding. Agreements about contact, disclosure and what gets discussed where, so the week between sessions is survivable.
02
Full picture
What happened, told once, properly, with limits on detail that re-traumatise rather than inform.
03
Meaning
What the affair was doing in the relationship. This is where the possibility of repair actually appears.
04
Decide and rebuild
Rebuild with new agreements, or separate with less damage. Either outcome is worked through rather than drifted into.
Nobody is asked to forgive on a schedule, and nobody is asked to decide before they are ready.
Anne Evans · Counsellor & Psychotherapist
Common questions
Can a relationship really recover from an affair?+
Some do and some do not, and there is no way to know at the outset which a particular couple will be. Recovery is not a return to how things were — that relationship has ended. Where couples do rebuild it is a matter of months rather than weeks.
Do we have to talk about the details?+
Some detail is necessary and some is corrosive. We agree early what gets asked and answered, because unstructured questioning tends to injure the person asking without giving them what they need.
What if only one of us wants to be here?+
That is common and workable. An initial individual session each is often the right start, and reluctance is useful material rather than a reason not to begin.
What if I do not know whether I want to stay?+
Then that is the work. Deciding deliberately is better than deciding by attrition, and the process is the same whether you end up staying or leaving.
More answers in the general FAQs, or ask Anne directly.
Often works alongside
Couples Counselling
Couples counselling and marriage counselling for partners who keep having the same argument.
Separation & Divorce
Decide deliberately, and where a relationship is ending, end it with less damage.
Individual Counselling
One-to-one work to understand what is going on and decide what to do about it.
Ready to start affair recovery counselling?
Book online in under a minute, or send a question first — Anne answers her own enquiries.